Republishing Blog Posts is For Capitalists

Here's a blog post from my back pages. I want to keep this site a little more updated than I have in the past and I think this post got lost in the mix way back when I started this shin-dig. Don't think of it as me copping out. Think of it as syndication. If you think otherwise, just remember that for every episode of Everybody Loves Raymond you watch on TBS, someone in a foreign country is watching Everybody Blitzkriegs Sven.

Naming Your Band Appropriately
Here's another little thought for you to chew on. Or at least naw slightly.

Do you ever pause and think to yourself, "Wow, that band really doesn't sound anything like their name?" Of course you do. Because the name of a band is really important. It's the one you're going to be stuck with for every album you put out. It's going to be with you and your band no matter what creative stage you decide to go through.

So let's say you name your band Killer Sandwhich Meat. What would expect that band to put out? Death Metal? Probably. Maybe a comedy album? Yah, I can see that. A Nu-Metal Rap-Rock epic? Well... anything's possible... there was a band called Limp Bizkit once...

But here's my thought. There are bands out there that either have names that suit their sound perfectly to the point where when you think of their name, you can't possible picture them playing anything else. I've compiled a list of bands that I think sound EXACTLY as a band with their name should.

• Keane: Delightfully happy soft piano rock with sensible haircuts. These are the kids that sat in the front row from grades 1 through 11.
• The Beatles: Simply because no other band could be named The Beatles. And no other music should sound like The Beatles (even if they're named Oasis).
• Godspeed You! Black Emperor: A band name that uses Emperors, Godspeed, and exclamation marks to evoke a sense of epic granduer. If you've ever heard anything by this band, you'll know that that pretty much sums up any of their 20 minute tracks.
• Papa Roach: Loud like your white trash father who you call Papa. Annoying like roaches.
• The Mars Volta: The band name doesn't make sense, neither does the music.
• Dashboard Confessional: Probably the biggest and most obvious one there is, mainly because the band name sums up every friggin song Carabba has ever written. You get the picture of some lonesome teen either expressing his deepest love to the girl of his dreams, or learning that said love has just cheated on him by someone who doesn't write poetry while parked on make-out point.
• The Village People: Do I really need to explain this? It's The Village People. They even sing about the one guy dressed like a Naval officer on "In The Navy".

So now that we've got that covered, what about the other side of things? The bands that have names that sound NOTHING like their music at all? Here's a few that I thought were a few baffling...

• ... And You Will Know Us By The Trail Of The Dead: Yes, that's a real band name. And no, they don't play thrasher death metal. They actually play really eclectic alternative rock that, on their latest album, had full string sections aswell as incorporating a traditional Russian folk-festival feel. No piles of dead anywhere.
• Something Coporate: Oooooooo! Anti-Establishment! Fighting the man through passive jabs at corporate America! And.... piano emo love songs about girls named Konstantine?
• The Music: That's a bit of a pretentious name don't you think? I mean, they're basically calling themselves THE music. Like they are the embodiment of all music. Ever. You'd think a band with that name would be better wouldn't you? Suggested alternative: The Band With The Guy With The Really Big Nose That Goes "Ooo La La" In Every Song.
• Interpol: As spin magazine put it "They fight global crime AND make alternative goth music!"
• At the Drive-In: Kind of makes you think of hot summer nights, hot dogs, and old time pop music, doesn't it? Or songs that repeat "Dancing on the corpses' ashes" again and again over top of punky power chords and off-key political rants.
• Joy Division: Goth, gloom, slit-your-wrist music with the most depressing lead singer's voice ever. So, I guess it's ironic... god I hope so...
• Backstreet Boys: Because the first place you're going to hear I Want It That Way is a crack deal behind on the backstreets of Brooklyn.

So there's a few suggestions that I thought would work. What do you think? I'm sure I've missed loads, so help me out here folks. Alex Wants You (Uncle Sam pose)...

I Am Sofa King Wee Todd Ed

It's audience participation time now. Raise your hand and don't be shy. If I find a tac on my chair though, I'll fight you, extreme stylezzz.

Here's the question: How meticulous are you about the organization of your music collection? Is an organized collection of music that important to you?

I believe it's a fair assumption to say that our library of music, whether it be our CD collection, iTunes library, or boxes of vinyls, is an ultimate extension of our own identity. I think most of you would agree and I hope I'm not alone in feeling like when my CD collection or iPod is unorganized, then as a person, I also feel unorganized. I realize this cements our technological dependency, but I don't care. If there's two different spellings of Antony (&/and) the Johnsons on my computer, I start jumping on couches. Lots of mother fucking couches.

It doesn't stop on the computer though. My CD's are all in a single Case Logic book and are in alphabetical order. When it comes to logging multiple CD's from one artist, y'all betta believe I chronologically order that shit f'real. The trouble is that when I buy an album that begins with an A, B, or even as generous as maybe G, the whole case needs to be ripped apart and re-assigned to make room for the new arrivals.

This is where you come in: are there any better methods out there? Am I just an obsessed lost cause who needs his Wilco albums after his White Stripes, The albums to feel good about his direction in life? Do you just throw CDs in your booklet as you buy them? Do you have multiple booklets? Do you not use a booklet? What about iTunes - does everything have to have a Genre, Year, and Album?

Everyone has their own system of organizing their music, some people going further in depth than others. I'm one of the few I know who actually assigns album art to each track on my iTunes list. If you want a good website to find high quality album art shots, go here.

Call me crazy, call me obsessed, call me not obsessed enough, whatever. I'm a firm believer in the fact that the way in which we organize our music is a part of the musical experience itself. Buying an album, downloading a song, putting together a playlist, labelling old boxes of tapes and records; all of these actions help us understand and order the music. We assign a location to that particular album in our life and when we reflect on albums we used to listen to, whether they were critical masterpieces that profoundly shapped your life, or Hit Zone 2, we know exactly where and how that album fit into our lives.

So assign track names, download album art, buy CD towers, make your own CD towers, stuff your vinyls under your bed and pick one out at random each day: it's more important than you think.

The Post to End All Posts

And now for the whole reason why I have this blog in the first place: The Year in Music, 2005. I'm a total dweeb for those music rags like Spin, NME, or even the online snobbery that is Pitchfork, who publish their top 40 lists of albums and singles at the end of each calendar year. I started doing my own list a few years ago for my high school paper. My first list included The Strokes, Black Rebel Motorcycle Club, and Blur. Having said that, it also had spots for John Mayer's Heavier Things and Howard Shore's score to The Return of the King. I can still feel the wetness behind my ears.

I look at 2005 with mixed feelings right now. Usually I find the best music coming out of the UK and while there were some hi-lites from across the pond, the States seem to have gotten its act together this year. Rejoice: not a nu-metal album in sight... although I did see a Linkin Park documentary being sold in Chapters the other day. It's a coffee table book that explores the taxing process of recording "Meteora"… do with this information what you will.

Before my list though, keep in mind that unlike music mags like Spin, I'm not sent free records. Therefore, I probably haven't heard all the best music published this year. For some reason I haven't looked into Devandra Banhart’s Cripple Crow, nor have I delved too deeply into Sleater-Kinney's The Woods. I did buy Frances the Mute by The Mars Volta though. I haven't listened to it yet, mainly for the sole reason that it scares me. But whatever, we all listen to the same music anyway. We just put different numbers beside the album name at the end of the year, so read on if you want. Here's my addition to the giant floating orb of music criticism.

Top Albums of 2005

10. ... And You Will Know Us By the Trail of Dead – Worlds Apart
I’ll get this out of the way right off the bat: shit lyrics. I mean, just fuck-awful gents, what the hell were you thinking? If ever there was a prize for the whiniest, most pretentious, and self-righteous lyrics ever written, these guys wouldn’t even show up to the award ceremony. The album focuses on starting over, rejecting the MTV way of life, and making music an actual art form again. You get the sense that the Trail of Dead hope to be the leaders of this musical revolution, reminding us all how robotic we’ve become (most notably with a painfully obvious portrait of Shakespeare on the inside cover). We’ve all had thoughts like these and have probably been on anti-corporate music rant or two of our own, but an entire album of it set to progressive rock riffs and… erm… Russian folk festival influences, is a bit much. We get it boys, really, we do. So why is this album on here then? Well, fortunately for us, the music side of Worlds Apart is absolutely thrilling. “Caterwaul”, “Let It Dive”, and “Rest Will Follow” are some this year’s greatest guitar driven tracks, each with their own aggressive, anthemic stance with chord changes that make you want to hit something pretty with a baseball bat. Plus it’s so loud that the lyrics are pretty much covered up anyway. There’s also a suprising amount of melody and beauty too. And they’re from Texas, so… um… yeah… that means something important I guess.
Best Track: Rest Will Follow

9. Broken Social Scene – s/t
This is an album you can pour. The songs fall out of the speakers like water from a tap into a glass pitcher beneath them so you can take it over to your kitchen table, sit down, and pour the contents individually into a set of perfect crystal glasses; delicate, breakable, and made so seamlessly you can’t possible imagine how the individual parts could be separated from each other.

So it’s not You Forgot It In People 2.0. A lot of people weren’t really sure how to react to it, myself included. But after a good long listen in a vacant library one morning at 1 am, I guess anything will make sense. There’s a lot going on so give it a chance and you’ll find something to latch onto in almost every song. The exuberance and sense of occasion that this album carries with it is infectious once you’ve warmed up to the blips, pitter patters, and downtown Toronto background noise layered over every track. See the band live while you can still pick out who’s the lead singer and where the band stops and audience begins.
Best Track: Ibi Dreams of Pavement (A Better Day)

8. Franz Ferdinand – You Could Have It So Much Better
Franz played this one by the book, but they played it well. It was extremely smart of them to release their second album so much closer to their first one. This way they dodge all the build up and over-hype that killed The Strokes or will most likely claim The Killers if Brandon Flowers doesn’t eat his own head before that. You Could Have It sounds so much fuller and more confident than their self-titled debut. Nothing is as immediate as "Take Me Out" but the subtle changes in tempo and unique song structures add up to an album that is more challenging (as challenging as four awkward scots can be) than its predecessor. The key cheeky art bands is that it needs to be done with a complete sincerity. Something about comedy taking a very serious mind-set or whatever... point is, Franz Ferdinand have fashioned themselves so that no matter what their schtick, their audience will go along with them, wishing their lives could be as fun as the "do do do" part of lead single "Do You Want To" or as enchanting as "Eleanor Put Your Boots Back On". Trust in this band and, like, all your dreams will come true... or something...
Best Track: The Fallen

7. Oasis – Don’t Believe the Truth
People who know me are now going “Of course.” Actually, one look at the title of this blog will gain the same reaction. Yes, I’m an Oasis fan. Yes I have been an Oasis fan for a very long time, through all their ups and (many) downs. But please, hear me out on this one when I say that this is a good album. But be warned: this is not the Oasis you’re used to. With the exception of “Lyla”, their 6th outing is almost completely devoid of hook filled stadium sing-along’s. Oasis was always accused of wearing their influences a little too obviously on their monobrows, but where the Britpop era Oasis borrowed liberally from The Beatles and The Who, Don’t Believe the Truth sees them… whisper it… go indie. Early Rolling Stones and The Velvet Underground are paraded around on tracks like “Mucky Fingers” and my new favouritest drinking song of life, “The Meaning of Soul”.

Oasis has always thrived on working as a duo because, let’s face it, beyond the Gallagher’s the band is pretty uninteresting (and fuck ugly). This still holds true for Don’t Believe, but the dynamics seem to have changed slightly. Instead of relying solely on the brothers one/two punch of cocky guitarist/cockier singer, many songs were penned by Liam and many tracks are sung by Noel. This is not to say that tension are bickering aren’t still present, because that’s what makes this whole Hindenburgian experiment still exciting to watch. But rather, this album marks a certain equilibrium between the self proclaimed leaders of the band, finally drawing upon their collective energy as a band, not that of a coke’d up lead guitarist. It’s a steep statement, but I’ll say it anyway: this is the album that should have followed (What’s the Story) Morning Glory?
Best Track: Guess God Thinks I’m Abel

6. Bloc Party – Silent Alarm
A lot has been written about Bloc Party this year, the majority of it positive, but I wasn’t always on board simply because, on paper, they look like every other hyped British new-new-wave band unleashed this year. Prior to the release of Silent Alarm, the only song I had heard was “Helicopter” which, while good, enrols them into the Franz Ferdinand School of Dance-Rock Skinny British Guys. And then I got my hands a little track called “Banquet” and everything seemed to change. Sure if you played it up against Franz’s “This Ffire” or The Futureheads’ “Decent Days and Nights” you’d hear similar dual-guitar interplay and quirky vocals, but then the chorus hits and a time bomb planted somewhere under Alex Kapranos’ cheeky sneer goes off: good God man! This song has heart. We were too busy dancing and taking each other out to stop and think about the morning after! And the same feeling continues throughout the rest of the album. Bloc Party have managed to take the angular guitar riff heavy dance rock scene and fuse it with a whole lot of perspective, maturity, and soul that send its songs soaring skyward, far from the dance floor. Don’t believe they’re any different? Try to put “Blue Light” on Kaiser Chief’s Employment and get back to me.
Best Track: Banquet

5. Sigur Ros – Takk…
For some reason, this album has been absent from a lot of year end lists. Spin didn’t include it, Pitchfork snubbed it, Exclaim! too, and PopMatters.com was too busy letting Slim Thug into its ranks to acknowledge it ever existed. I have a sneaking suspicion that Sigur Ros is doomed to a life of polar opposites. With each subsequent release since Agaetis Byrjun, each album has been classified as either “happy” or “sad”. Apparently Iceland has only two settings. Three if you count Bjork in which case “creepy” is added to the remote control. I’m not entirely sure why this stigma has imbedded itself within the music listening community, because everything the band does seems to craft such a delicate mixture of happiness, sadness, reflection, redemption, life, death, etc etc and the cow jumped over the moon. With no vocals except a wailing gay Icelandic emo kid, I understand that it’s hard to take much more away from each album except raw, basic emotions. It’s the closest we have right now to “pure music” which is something that even Mozart was trying to figure out. But I think this should be appreciated. Therefore Takk… is their “happy” album but don’t let that colour your blank slate before letting this piece of art fill it in for you, unfolding a story of your own emotional interpretation with each graceful brushstroke. (Editors note: This writer is not high, gay, or a member or Sigur Ros… which in fact would make him both high and gay. He just likes this album THAT much.)
Best Track: Glosoli

4. Antony & the Johnsons – I Am a Bird Now
Every year there is one alternative album that gets name dropped, championed, and ultimately exploited by listeners who wish to latch onto something to let everyone else know they are up on the latest trends. That one alternative record allows listeners to say “Yes, I know what this is, I’m current, aware, and above all else, included.” Last year it was the Arcade Fire’s Funeral (which is funny because, as my friend Todd pointed out, wasn’t the Arcade Fire this year? Oh the information age we live in). This year, the title goes to 300 lb, cross dressing, Mercury Prize winning, Boy George entertaining ballad pop hero Antony Hegarty and this ten track master-piece. In case you haven’t clued into what this album is about when looking through the track list, observing the cover art, or the passage etched into the CD art, here’s your wake-up call: dude wants to be a lady. But rather than coming across as freaky or laughable, the album somehow manages to cast a stillness over that listener’s hand as they reach for the stop button. The album deals with gender classifications and the desire for a free spirit, far away from all the importance of having a set place on the ground.

Thematically then, the album strikes a chord with not just those who are gender-confused, but people who are questioning their place in general which, pssst, there are a lot of. And the song structure gives more than enough to latch onto with beautiful sweeping melodies that pull on all the right heart strings at all the right moments.
Best Track: My Lady Story

3. The New Pornographers – Twin Cinema
Fuck you New Pornographers. You’ve unmasked all of us uber-cool indie kids who pretend like listening to some 300 lb arty friend of a friend play the nose flute in a basement that smells like onions and cheap beer is real music for who we really are: confused kids in old t-shirts who really just want to be happy about pop music for once.

You know you’re listening to a great album when you feel compelled to sing along to the songs on your first listen. Just try and sit still to “Use It” or “Sing Me Spanish Techno”. Going beyond the upbeat pop hooks though, Twin Cinema is at many points downright whimsical. Disney could have used the God-affirming refrain from the “The Bleeding Heart Show” to soundtrack Simba’s return to Pride Rock, and “Streets of Fire” contains male/female vocal interplay that would make Stars wish they were from BC. All in all, it’s smart pop with loads of heart and anthems in spades. If you’ve ever wanted to be so happy about something that you almost start to cry, press play, roll down the windows, and drive a little bit faster.
Best Track: Use It

2. Sufjan Stevens – Illinois
Or, more appropriately titled: The Only Album That Will Ever Be Written About a Midwestern American State And Be Taken Seriously by a 19 Year Old Kid In Guelph Ontario Who Has Never Been Nor Will Probably Ever Be in Said State. I’m not sure if the contents of this album accurately reflect the state of Illinois. I’ve never been and the current happenings in Illinois aren’t really talked about over coffee with my friends. But according to Mr. Stevens, the living dead live next door, UFO’s dominate the skies, protestors and women go insane for extremely valid reasons, and mass murderers dressed as clowns. I’m not really sure if there are giant predatory wasps in the Palisades. Hell, I don’t even know what or where the Palisades are. But it must be true because never have I ever heard someone sound as sincere as Stevens does over these 22 sprawling tracks. Book me on the next flight to Chicago, Sufjan, you’ve convinced me.
Best Track: Chicago

1. Bright Eyes - I'm Wide Awake, It's Morning
I bought this album a few days after it came out back in January. My first reaction to it was to it was "Hrm, that's nice... I wonder when Coldplay's new album is coming out?" The songs seemed too bare, too honest, and too folk to hold any real resonance in the music industry. The lead single after all was "Lua", 4 minutes of Connor Oberst clumsily strumming his nylon-stringed guitar, probably half-drunk.

Isn't it fitting then that it should end up at the top of the heap? Looking at the string of releases and tours slated to happen in 2005, it was pretty safe to say that planet-melting stadium rock would make its return (where it exactly, I'm not quite sure... maybe I was too busy listening to the Lord of the Rings scores at the time). But in the end, things didn't really pan out as such. The most poignant records came from artists like Antony & the Johnsons who won the Mercury Prize for his emotional piano ballads, or Sufjan Stevens who focused on the often over-looked details of America's mid-west. It was a year of little triumphs, only further defined by the let-down of the stadium fillers like U2 or Coldplay. I'm Wide Awake, It's Morning, in my opinion, embodies this spirit in every false strum, every strained vocal plea for forgiveness.

Scattered across its 10 tracks are some of the most sincere moments of lyrical clarity that I've ever heard. The sheer simplicity of it all is mind boggling, but anyone who’s heard the album will know exactly what I’m talking about. It’s hard to express how perfectly Oberst manages to capture a certain theme or musing on life, love, activism, death, politics, more activism… the list goes on. It’s the kind of realizations you have in the middle of a supermarket checkout line or driving a friend home from God knows where or lying in bed at night, unable to find a pen and paper to write it down, hoping you remember it the next morning. Like the album art hints at, it’s a patchwork of different fabrics, woven together beautifully to create a work of simple, majestic beauty. Sure, X & Y may ask the big questions. I'm Wide Awake... answers them.
Best Track: Landlocked Blues

This Task Was Appointed to Me

Hey everyone.

It's been a little bit since I last posted, mainly because a) I was outside this summer and b) I'm still licking my wounds from my last post. Apparently attacking St. Matthews is digital suicide. But thanks for all your comments though. Agree or disagree, I had fun reading them as I applied more gauze. In response, I will say the following:

• I still don't see the appeal in Dave Matthews, but to each their own.
• I admit that it was a mistake in bringing up Oasis and Coldplay in arguing against him
• I still don't believe he's shown any growth from one album to the next. Which is fine for adult contemporary artists, which I happily lump him into.
• Yes, there's lost of really good rap/hip hop music out there that doesn't push forward the gangster rap style. Deltron 3030 and K-Os are my favourites.
• I still hate Dave Matthews.
• It all really doesn't matter anyway.

So into it we go.

I've been trying to write my own songs. I'm not sure why, but for some reason the past month has seen me grow more and more obsessed with creating my own piece of music. Maybe it's the whole rock journalists are just failed musicians thing. If I'm going to be either, I basically need to try to strap something together.

The problem is that it's a lot friggin harder than it looks. When it comes to writing lyrics, I find that one of two things happens to me.

1. I attempt to solve world hunger
2. I become Nick Carter

I'm either spewing Coldplay-cliches about how the world makes no sense to me or how "You" are too far away from me, etc etc, aching heart, etc etc, empty inside. It's brutal, and that's without adding in the music aspect which, for the life of me, I can't figure out how to do. Each time I start playing something it just becomes Knocking on Heavens Door or Wonderwall.

So where I go from here I'm not sure. It feels like something I have to do if I'm going to call myself a true music critic. When you think about it, I'm kind of like Frodo. Yah, a really emo Frodo. Fremo. Yah... Fremo...

Why I Hate Dave Matthews

Holy crap I've done it. I've finally done it. After 5 long years of racking my brain and standing out among my friends, I've come to the answer. And I mean THE answer. You know, I could add it just after Genesis in the Bible and you wouldn't really have any need to read the rest. It'd be a nice little package, all tied up with a bow and maybe a festive tag. To: You. From: Alex. Thanks for the Memories, etc etc. But anyway, I've finally figured out why I hate Dave Matthews.

It's really simple, I'm not sure why I struggled with it for all these years. Something just always seemed wrong about him and his merry band of ethnically diverse followers. I could never put words to it, but each time I saw a DVD of a long-whinded saxophone solo or a sweaty Dave growling into the microphone about short skirts and how he "did it", a part of my inner child left me, never to return.

I've always felt odd about it though. I kept asking myself, "Shouldn't I like Dave Matthews? I listen to Ben Folds and John Mayer and occassionally like Jack Johnson. Am I hopeless? Am I not trying hard enough? No... impossible. Your burned 'Crash' and listened to the album a few times... then scratched the CD up and threw it out. Why am I so different then everyone else?" As you can see, Dave Matthews not only caused me musical pain, but also deep-seeded identity problems.

Then one day while remembering Oasis and how they set out to conquer the world and a band like Coldplay who are essentially the biggest band in the world right now, currently writting themselves into Rock history books, it came to me:

Dave Matthews, you have no ambition and I hate you for it.

Think about it. Everything about Dave Matthews and Dave Matthews Band drips with a "Yah, well, you know, maybe later" kind of attitude. He never really does interviews, and when he does, only his fans pay attention. He's not changing anything in rock music, each album sounds relatively the same (forgive me if I haven't done my research well enough, but as soon as I hear a saxophone on more than one album, it sounds the same), his lyrics are not earth orbit shifting, and apart from a few choice songs, he's never really on the radio or MTV/MuchMusic. He's just always there. Never gone, but never really hear. Just sort of lurking the shadows of pop culture, telling girls to hike up their skirts a little more.

Maybe it's just me and my obsession for the "next big thing". For bands that start from nothing and vault themselves to great levels of success (ie Coldplay) or fail brilliantly trying (ie The Vines). Dave Matthews is not big, nor is he small. Everyone knows him, and no one really knows him. It's bizarre and weird and creepy and I don't like it. I'm waiting for him to make his stab at rock greatness and he just sits there, singing to farm animals, probably high. Definitely high.

So there it is, I've finally figured it out. Dave Matthews, if you're reading this, you have no ambition and for that, I completely and utterly dispise everything you do.

*Puts on an Oasis album and continues to live in the past, believing that he's Liam Gallagher's Wonderwall*

Sun Shyeeeeeeiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiinnnnne

If anyone's interested, the latest Oasis album can be listened to here. It requires you to fill in some information about yourself, and if you think Oasis are worth the effort, then I strongly advise it. So far the best track is "Guess God Thinks I'm Abel" and on the whole, the album is the most Beatles they've EVER sounded. And that's saying something.

If you don't want to fill out the form to listen to it, make stuff up anyway. Using your imagination is fun!

Drop-Kick the Emo Kids

"I LOVE YOU CONOR!"
"OH MY GOD CONOR YOU'RE SO HOT"
"DO ME CONOR!"

And with that, a little bit of me was lost forever. The preceeding statements were things I heard yelled last night (May 18th) at the Bright Eyes & The Faint (who rocked my world. Download "Drop-Kick the Punks and "Birth") show in Toronto at The Docks by 14 year old girls who, unbeknownst to me, have adopted Mr. Conor Oberst as their hot poster child of the 21st Century. Not the vaguely white-trash but still loveable Justin Timberlake, nor the human washboard that is Usher, but 23 year old Carrie-Anne Moss look-alike Conor Oberst from Omaha Nerbraska. I know thin is in, but apparently skeletal and drunk is going the extra mile.

The audience consisted of the following...

• 10% Couples between the ages of 14 and 19, touching each other at all times in some way, shape, or form.
• 100% clothing too-tight for their owners
• 80% died black hair, 60% of which was gelled and waxed into a fringe that covered at least one eye
• 40 messenger bags. Todd and I counted. Seriously
• 70% females hoping to touch Conor Oberst
• 30% males hoping to touch the girls who were trying to touch Conor Oberst
• Me sandwiched between everyone else squeezing against the stage, forcing me to touch myself

On the whole, it was a really bizare experience. There I was, standing in the middle of the crowd, looking towards the stage anticipating an intriguing show with lots of musical experimentation and hearing breath-taking stories of heart-break, loneliness, and social critiques right from the genius poet himself, and I find myself stuck behind a group of giggly 14 year olds talking about how Danny was like, totally mean to me today in class but, like, I never, like, saying anything bad about him because, like, he's so cute.

Now when it comes to music and bands that I like, I'm not someone who wishes them to be MY band. I'm not possessive. I love sharing tips about bands and songs, etc etc. I'm not trying to say that the fourteen year olds shouldn't have been at the show. I just found it weird that they were. When it comes to Bright Eyes, Oberst's lyrics are quite complex in terms of the level of appreciation one needs to interpret the hidden meaning in his songs or the greater thematic elements. Of course you could take a general stab at what they're about (Love, sex, sex without love, love without sex leading to loneliness, etc) but the hidden intricicies take a bit of an effort to appreciate fully. Call it mature listening.

The music he was playing with his band was also a bit more advanced and off-beat that even normal Bright Eyes. "Digital Ash in a Digital Urn" is a hallow, electronic, synth-wailing of an album that is takes a few good sit-downs to deciphre the multiple layers that have been produced. It's not exactly Dashboard Confessional.

Aw piss. Now I sound arrogant don't I? Trust me, I don't understand some of what the guy's saying sometimes. But I remember grade 9 and grade 10, and the depth of my musical knowledge was Our Lady Peace and only because they sang about Superman... being dead... which I didn't get... I just liked the "why-e-eye-e-eye-e-eye-e-eye" part. I couldn't really wrap my head around Bright Eyes, let alone would I even like the music.

Hey, these could be the advanced kids in class. Good for them, right on, etc etc. Some of the younger fans there last night might get it, and they might appreciate his lyrics and music on the deep level he intends, but looking at the majority of the crowd and hearing the "CONOR YOU ROCK MY WORLD" screams, I started to question why a lot of the fans were there. Was it to hear the band play? Or was it to see the fabled Conor Oberst in real life in hopes that he might do something to help define their awkward teenager years. My guess is the latter, and the problem is that Conor Oberst, being just 23, drunk, and dressed like a Holocaust survivor, is pretty awkward and immature himself.

I guess that's his appeal. He's the anti-hero, the anti-Justin Timberlake that no one knows about but everyone knows about at the same time. But what I saw last night was an awkward kid on stage, stumbling around, drinking in front of the audience as if it were something to be clapped at (which it was), and a musician who wasn't nearly as talented as his backing band who all seemed to just sit and watch as Conor did his own thing, looking a little uncomfortable.

Too much expectation I guess. The CD's are great, but it seems when it comes to live performances, it's not about the music at all. It's about the tortured soul that is, all capitals now, CONOR.

But touching myself in public was fun. I had a grin on my face.